- EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves -

The role that Emotional Intelligence plays in our daily lives is substantial. Not only does our Emotional Intelligence effect our personal competence, it effects our social competence as well. Unlike IQ which is a relatively stable score throughout our lives, EQ is variable. Not strong in the EQ department? No worries - this can be improved upon! 

4 Areas of Emotional Intelligence

Self-Awareness is the ability to accurately perceive your own emotions in the moment and understand your tendencies across situations.

Self-awareness is a foundational skill, having it makes other EQ skills easier to use
The only way to understand our emotions is to spend time thinking about them
It is not about uncovering deep dark secrets, but simply understanding what makes you tick
Thinking about self-awareness helps to improve skill
Critical to improving self-awareness is understanding the “beauty and the blemishes” - looking at the complete picture

Self-Management is what happens when you act, or do not act. 

It is dependent on self-awareness
It is the ability to use your awareness of emotions to stay flexible and direct your behavior positively
The biggest challenge here is managing tendencies over time and applying skills to a variety of situations
Real results come when we put our momentary needs on hold to purse larger, more important goals

Social Awareness is the ability to accurately pick up on the emotions of other people and understand whats really going on with them.

Social awareness is a foundational skill for social competence
This requires the ability to pick up on what people are thinking and feeling even if you do not feel the same
Listening and observing are the most important elements of social awareness
Stop talking, stop the internal monologue, stop anticipating the other persons point, stop thinking ahead to what you are going to say next
Work to observe situations without the influence of your thoughts and feelings

Relationship Management is the ability to use your awareness of your emotions and of others to manage interactions successfully. 

The success of this skill calls on your skills in the three other areas of EQ
It is the bond you build with others over time
Acknowledge the benefit of connecting to many different types of people, even those you may not be fond of
Strong relationships are the result of are the result of how you understand people, how you treat them, and the history you share
The weaker the connection, the harder it is to get a point across
Relationship management poses the greatest challenge for most people during times of stress

The diagram above helps to illustrate why EQ is so important. When a stimulus enters the brain via the spinal cord, it must first pass through the Limbic System. This is the emotional processing center of the brain (consisting of the amygdala, hippocampus, thalamus, hypothalamus, basal ganglia, and cingulate gyrus). Only once the stimulus is filtered through the Limbic System does it progress to the the frontal lobe of the brain where we problem solve, apply judgement, and control impulses.